Peebles Checks into Mental Ward: Cites “Super Bowl” Stress

Somewhere in the USA – It’s being reported that Mr. Peebles, football handicapper extraordinaire and general jack*ss has checked himself into a Psych Ward, stressed out and completely farklempt over the impending Super Bowl 44 contest on February 7, 2009. According to insiders, Mr. Peebles is currently eating graham crackers, drinking Hi-C, and playing UNO for meds with his fellow patients. Leave it to Peebles to start a gambling operation in a Psych Ward: we’d say he’s degenerate, but that would be too nice. What drove him to this level of madness? After struggling during the latter half of this season with his free NFL picks, his pent up frustration came to a head. He knew that the Saints/Colts would be playing in the Super Bowl, but he didn’t know which teams would get knocked off in the process. The true test of any sports pundit is not predicting the obvious, but predicting the unforeseen, unknown, and various other ambiguities that come with the sport.
Now that there’s a free weekend between now and the big day, Mr. Peebles went absolutely gonzo, pouring over the odds, prop bets, and money lines trying the find an edge. He spent most of yesterday watching re-runs of Sportscenter and eating Fruit Loops on the couch, while drinking Mike’s Hard Lemonde from a gallon pitcher. Needless to say, these habits brought him down a few pegs, and now he’s been committed to an undisclosed hospital location, in order to prevent further madness – and God forbid, switching from Fruit Loops to plain Cheerios. Ouch… Peebles Will Re-Emerge February 5 Just before publication, we learned that he’s getting out Feb. 5, in part because his health care plan doesn’t pay for NFL insanity, and also because one can only afford so much mental health care paying cash on the barrel. To all those that believe the National Health Care debate is pointless, remember this: when you’re in a tough spot, who’s more likely to have your back? The HMO or Uncle Sam? Say what you will about democratic government, but Mr. Peebles figures odds are the government would take better care of him than XYZ Health Insurance, which most certainly will be raising premiums to untoward levels post this temporary insanity episode. During a few lucid moments, Peebles did say he thinks the Lombardi Trophy will go to the Saints. They played well during the NFC championship, but on a scale from 1-10, Peebles thinks they played 8.5, whereas at 10 they would have crushed the Vikings. They’ll need their 10 game February 7, because Peyton Manning and the Colts aren’t d*cking around. Peebles thinks Manning or Brees will take home the MVP award, that is, unless there’s some miraculous play that sweeps everyone off their feet. Don’t bet too much, though, because we all know Mr. Peebles things Prop bets are for punks (and losers). Rest assured, Pete Peebles will be his same old self very soon, but for now, it’s Crazy Eights, Snakes and Ladders, and counseling until he can get himself under control. Until the kick-off February 7, 2010…. 🙂 Good Luck NFL Betting from Mr. Peebles!

Peebles Goes Bananas for AFC & NFC Championships

…It’s down to the final four: the New York Jets against the Indianapolis Colts, and the Minnesota Vikings versus the New Orleans Saints. Who would have thought these would be the top 4 teams in NFL six months ago? Well, almost no one. After players got slaughtered when the Patriots tapped out, it seems now that people are gravitating to last minute Super Bowl 44 future bets and odds, before we’re down to the final competitors. What’s gonna happen this weekend? According to Mr. Peebles, your NFL analyst extraordinaire, this weekends championships will be a close call. Admittedly, Peebles has placed the bulk of his money on the Colts and Saints for the straight up win. This sort of goes without saying. For you other punks, however, who really like to play the dogs, the Vikings aren’t half bad either, while the New York Jets are the weakest of the four teams. Oddsmakers can’t settle on where to put this one as of Thursday Jan 21, 2010. Looking at some of the top sportsbooks, odds on the Jets/Colts game are either +8/-8 or +7.5/-7.5 Jets/Colts respectively. Those friggen’ half point odds mean the sportsbooks aren’t interested in a tie: they want a decisive verdict on the games, and can’t settle for any less with the Super Bowl now just days away. Things are tighter over at the Vikings/Saints contest. The average set of odds seems to be +3.5/-3.5 Vikings/Saints respectively, while some books have it either +3/-3 or +4/-4. It really depends on where you like to play. If you ask Mr. Peebles, he’ll say the best place to bet, hands down, is where you can get all the latest odds, NFL news, and a plethora of Super Bowl bets you’ve probably never heard of. This weekend, the easy money is on the Colts: frankly the Jets don’t have a chance, even if Peyton Manning got ran over by a truck during the 1st quarter. As Mr. Peebles mentioned earlier, the Jets are the weakest team in this final playoff series. Then again, if you like a long shot, let it ride on the Jets and collect a substantial payout. Meanwhile, Mr. Peebles believes the Saints/Vikings game is going to be much closer than expected. The Saints destroyed Baltimore last week, making the Ravens look like a pack of bluebirds. This weekend’s game against the Vikings will be much more challenging. You’ve got Brett “Fabulous” Favre in the driver’s seat of a powerful Viking offense, while Drew “The Breaze” Brees calls the shots for the holier-than-thou Saints. Prop bets on these two quarterbacks would be a lot of fun, that is, if you have a few bucks to spare. In any event, if you put Mr. Peebles against the wall (and who doesn’t) he’d have to go with New Orleans. Favre will be grumpy Sunday if he doesn’t get his mid-day nap and nursing home bingo game in before it’s time to suit up. 🙂 After Sunday, we take a break until Super Bowl 44, where the big money bets just keep rolling in. The economy may be in the sh*tter, but that’s not stopping people from placing a friendly wager on the final chapter of the 2009-10 NFL betting season. Who knows? You might just see Mr. Peebles at the cashier’s window walking away with a $1000 winner. It’s happened before, and it will happen again, putz. 😉 Good Luck NFL Betting this Weekend!